Emotional Intelligence, the defining characteristic of great leaders

Consider any great leader: Winston Churchill; Martin Luther King; John F Kennedy; Ronald Reagan; Mahatma Gandhi; and Benazir Bhutto. All of the mentioned leaders were incredibly intelligent, but it was not their intelligence that defined them as great leaders; it was their emotional intelligence.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman coined the phrase 'emotional intelligence', writing a book with the same title. He argues that truly successful leaders almost always display emotional intelligence, manifested in self-awareness, self-control, motivation, drive, empathy, and social skill.

These soft skills have more recently been emphasised as key characteristics of those who run the world's most successful and powerful organisations. Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman Sachs highlights the need to become 'a complete person', capable of interacting with a wide range of people, while his rival, Jamie Dimon of JP Morgan, stresses the necessity of keeping one's emotions in control during tough and turbulent times.

That is not to deny the value of intelligence for sound leadership. Instead, it is my aim to argue, in this post, that intelligence is a necessary albeit insufficient condition for developing oneself into a successful leader. We all know of one person who is incredibly bright and smart, but who did not succeed to a great extent as a leader.

Why not?

To provide a satisfactory answer, let us consider, in some detail, three key components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, motivation, and empathy.

Developing self-awareness is to explore and understand one's values, desires, and areas for improvement. People with self-awareness know what makes them 'tick' and where they are going in life and how they will get there.

For instance, a self-aware person, who suffers from the pressure surrounding tight deadlines, will plan ahead and complete the required work well in advance. Self-aware people also admit to their mistakes, and as a result, are more likely to learn from their mistakes and perform better in the future.

Self-aware candidates demonstrate a thirst for constructive criticism, because they realise the potential to growth through listening to others. 

Second, if there is one trait that all great leaders possess, it is motivation. We are all motivated by external factors in the world, be it money, status, or power. Truly great leaders, however, are motivated by a deeply embedded desire to achieve for sake of achieving and becoming great.

These people love what they do and display unconditional enthusiasm and energy almost all of the time. These are the people who do not accept the status quo as given; they are the game changers in business, law, medicine, and other professional realms.

Highly motivated leaders remain optimistic even when the odds are against them. 

Finally, empathy is a crucial skill that great leaders have developed over time. Empathy does not equate with pity. Rather, it refers to the ability of a leader to recognise and understand the feelings of her team and base intelligent decisions on how her team is performing.

Given the need to attract and retain talented employees and team members, it is needless to say that leaders must be able to communicate and engage with their team in a meaningful and connected manner, such that the whole team feels a part of something special and capable of doing good for the team and the wider community.


To summarise, great leaders with emotional intelligence are:

1. able to understand their internal drivers and values

2. motivated to purse what they love unconditionally and relentlessly

3. capable of connecting with a wide range of people

4. able to empathise and listen to people and make intelligent decisions on that basis

and most importantly...

5. are not scared by what they are capable of achieving


Be a great leader by developing your own emotional intelligence.

Love at first sight?

Think back to a time when you were starstruck, literally, after seeing a man or woman whom you believed to be, without a doubt, your true love. Whether you both shared a certain twinkle in your eyes, or let off a small smirk after glancing at each for a few seconds, there is most certainly something special at play in these moments.

The most intense forms of love tend to occur in the early stages of a relationship, suggesting that our attraction to someone at the first instance of seeing them is usually an occurrence that remains in our minds and hearts.

Further evidence that love at first sight exists arises from the fact that human beings have the ability to judge, within a few seconds, whether they believe another person is attractive in their eyes. The first step in almost every relationship is based on attraction based on physical appearance.

A similar line of reasoning maintains that first impressions have a powerful influence on us. Here the two possibilities are at either extremes. In the first, positive instance, we are completely blown away by a guy or gal that we want to wrap our arms around them until the end of eternity, though we never actually deliver on this. 

On the other extreme, we are somewhat disgusted by another's pride, arrogance, or lack of empathy, that we choose to repel ourselves away from him or her, even though our judgement here is in fact very superficial and immature. 

My purpose in this post, however, is to present a case that undermines the view that love at first sight exists. Here's why.

First, there is no compelling reason for accepting that love has to be a noun. Love is also verb. To love someone is to be there for her unconditionally, in bad times and good, an action. To love someone is to make sacrifices for her, another action. See the pattern?

Second, to develop a feeling for someone that is as powerful and intense as the feeling of love requires us to grasp a deeper understanding of another's soft side. Traits such as intellect, compassion, kindness, and a good sense of humour cannot be revealed at first insight. On this basis, it is difficult to develop love, in a truly meaningful way, at first sight. 

Let me be clear and admit that there is definitely a case to be made for feeling substantial arousals when first seeing someone whom we believe to be somewhat extraordinary and special to us. I personally have experienced this many times in life.

Yet to claim that we 'are in love' after an initial encounter is perhaps stretching too far, given that love is something we develop over a long period of time. 

REMEMBER

Love is not only a noun, but also a verb.

Do what makes you come alive

'It felt like breathing; it felt right.'

She came alive, at the age of 20, when she held her first talk show event. She is Oprah Winfrey and she is a woman regarded by many around the world as a source of inspiration, love, and meaning.

Coming alive is to pursue a passion relentlessly and without care about what others might think. Coming alive is to live every day with enthusiasm and drive, always striving to fulfil your greatest potential.

This is mentally draining, which is why Oprah strongly emphasises that we each find what makes us tick and wake up in the morning, so that we can persevere when things get tough, because we love what we do.

Let's now consider how doing the thing that 'makes us come alive' fits in with success. For the purposes of clarity, we will look at Oprah as an example.

Serving as the lead on one of the most popular talk shows in world clearly has its financial benefits. We should never neglect the importance of money and attaining a position of financial stability.

Money helps us cater for our needs and for those whom we are responsible, such as our family and friends. Money also enables us to seize opportunities, to which we would not be exposed if we did not have a sufficient amount of money.

Money does not, however, add meaning to one's life. Meaning comes from listening to your feelings and making decisions based on your gut, says Oprah. Your gut is your GPS for life, guiding you through obstacles, challenges, and uncertainty.

Here's the difficult part. Only YOU can understand your gut feeling. So, making a decision based on your gut could seem entirely absurd from the perspective of other people, but to you it IS natural. IT IS RIGHT. There is a good case, then, for developing the resilience, over time, to care less about the views others hold about your decisions and instead devote more attention to understanding how we feel as unique individuals.

What about failure? What if doing the thing that makes me come alive is challenging and hard? As you already know, nobody said that anything worthwhile is easy. Let me, however, share some advice that I received quite recently.

Michael Nartey, co-head of Global Distribution at Barclays (formerly managing director at Goldman Sachs), is a man who rose to the top of one of the world's greatest financial institutions having been born and lived in Ghana for a large part of his life.

He said the following:

'If you are able to go home, reflect on the possible lessons that you should learn from your mistake or failure today, and come into work the next day with a fresh mindset that involves not thinking about the day before, then you will become successful.'

Michael's point could alternatively be explained in the following way: learn from your mistakes, but live in the present.

I cannot over emphasise the importance of living in the present. Opportunities, in the form of occasions to seize career-related opportunities, to develop and enhance your relationships, or to simply laugh and hug the people you love, occur in the present.

We cannot seize these wonderful opportunities that add meaning and happiness in our lives if we are too consumed with the past or too worried about what the future may bring.

Both are outside our control: we cannot change the past and we have virtually no influence over the future. Developing the humility and resilience to concede to this fact is the first step in letting go of a burden that keeps us back and arriving at a more peaceful state of mind.

Find what you love, what makes you come alive, and devote yourself to that day in, day out, with integrity, passion, and endless drive.

Do what makes you come alive and show it to the rest of the world