About time, the past, and our memories

Time is confusing for all of us. Hurtful moments in the past, such as the break-up of a relationship, the failure to achieve a personal goal, or the loss of a loved one, are difficult to get over and remain deep in our thoughts for a long time, if not forever. We've all been there; I certainly have.

Positive memories can also elicit sad feelings. As we refer back to these happy moments in the past, we may cry out, asking why, most of the time, these memories are difficult or impossible to relive in the present or the future.

Thus, our thoughts and memories, whether positive or negative, hold a firm place within our minds because they have had a powerful impact on us in the past. We should accept this fact.

Thoughts and memories, like an idea, are highly resilient, and once they take hold of your brain, they are difficult to eradicate.

Now, I am not suggesting that we should go about eradicating the memories that often cause us harm, because these memories are also beautiful and special to us. Yet we should be careful in how we interpret and register our memories, trying to let go of the ones that hold us back.

But how?

The answer lies in first understanding that each unique thought is incredibly powerful, like a philosophical idea such as democracy, freedom, or justice. To fully comprehend this point, remember that people are more willing to fight and suffer for an idea or vision, than for things such as money, fame, or popularity. 

Replacing a powerful thought is only possible if a more powerful one can take its place. 

This point captures the essence of letting go of the past: focusing your attention on incredible opportunities and ideas standing in the present or those yet to appear in the future. 

Let me share a personal experience to elaborate. At the time of my relationship break-up a year ago, I was completely heartbroken, literally. All I could think about was how I would ever recover and if I could love someone special again. Sounds dramatic right? 

Over the following months, I focused on fulfilling important purposes based on ideas: tutoring 'A' level students from underprivileged backgrounds, helping them succeed in their exams; travelling and experiencing South Africa; and working as a researcher for a non-profit. 

During these wonderful, yet intense, experiences, I completely forgot about my break-up: one idea had quickly replaced another. So here's the messages to take home: 

1) Time heals wounds in the past, so be patient.

2) Open your eyes to the present; there's so much you can do!

3) Reach out to friends and family to release your feelings; you will feel relieved of a great burden. 

4) Remember that your memories and thoughts are incredibly powerful, so treat them with great care.