Love at first sight?

Think back to a time when you were starstruck, literally, after seeing a man or woman whom you believed to be, without a doubt, your true love. Whether you both shared a certain twinkle in your eyes, or let off a small smirk after glancing at each for a few seconds, there is most certainly something special at play in these moments.

The most intense forms of love tend to occur in the early stages of a relationship, suggesting that our attraction to someone at the first instance of seeing them is usually an occurrence that remains in our minds and hearts.

Further evidence that love at first sight exists arises from the fact that human beings have the ability to judge, within a few seconds, whether they believe another person is attractive in their eyes. The first step in almost every relationship is based on attraction based on physical appearance.

A similar line of reasoning maintains that first impressions have a powerful influence on us. Here the two possibilities are at either extremes. In the first, positive instance, we are completely blown away by a guy or gal that we want to wrap our arms around them until the end of eternity, though we never actually deliver on this. 

On the other extreme, we are somewhat disgusted by another's pride, arrogance, or lack of empathy, that we choose to repel ourselves away from him or her, even though our judgement here is in fact very superficial and immature. 

My purpose in this post, however, is to present a case that undermines the view that love at first sight exists. Here's why.

First, there is no compelling reason for accepting that love has to be a noun. Love is also verb. To love someone is to be there for her unconditionally, in bad times and good, an action. To love someone is to make sacrifices for her, another action. See the pattern?

Second, to develop a feeling for someone that is as powerful and intense as the feeling of love requires us to grasp a deeper understanding of another's soft side. Traits such as intellect, compassion, kindness, and a good sense of humour cannot be revealed at first insight. On this basis, it is difficult to develop love, in a truly meaningful way, at first sight. 

Let me be clear and admit that there is definitely a case to be made for feeling substantial arousals when first seeing someone whom we believe to be somewhat extraordinary and special to us. I personally have experienced this many times in life.

Yet to claim that we 'are in love' after an initial encounter is perhaps stretching too far, given that love is something we develop over a long period of time. 

REMEMBER

Love is not only a noun, but also a verb.