Why Manchester By the Sea is the film to watch ahead of the Oscar's

Ahead of this year's Oscar's, to be held on Sunday 26 February, one is spoiled for choice when it comes to the nominated best pictures. Among the exceptional films this year are La La Land, Moonlight, Lion, Fences, and my personal favourite, which I recommend unreservedly, Manchester by the Sea.

Based purely on its plot summary, Manchester by the Sea does not appear compelling. A handyman returns to his hometown to take care of his late brother's son. So what? On this basis, one might rather enjoy the warm hearted musical that has Ryan Gosling's and Emma Stone's characters explore love and a passion for the arts in sunny Los Angeles.

The beauty of Manchester by the Sea lies in something else. It is painfully raw and heartbreaking. Watching the film is as close as one can get to witnessing, if not truly empathising with, a real life tragedy in front of the big screen. Those tragedies are what we hope to never experience. But in fact the experiences teach us about the difficulties and complexities of life, and Manchester by the Sea encourages us to open our eyes to them.

A brief description of the story is in order.  Lee, Casey Affleck's character, reluctantly returns to his hometown in Manchester by the Sea to assume the role of guardian for his nephew, Patrick. In doing so, Lee faces, not only the challenges in assuaging an emotionally unstable teenager, but also tackling with the traumatic incident that he thought was locked away forever when he left the Sea. The details of the incident should remain undisclosed. Consider it fair to say that once the tragedy is revealed, Lee's outlook on life becomes clearer to the viewer.

Make no mistake, Manchester by the Sea is a heavy film. Nevertheless, it hardly feels melodramatic or overly sentimental. The main character internalises the return of his unresolved feelings and heartbreak, whereas his former partner yields to the drive to tear up and break down emotionally at the slightest reminder of the incident.

This gives the movie authenticity: it tells us that there is no right way to respond to a tragedy, whether in its immediate aftermath or many years after.

Lastly, Manchester by the Sea is a film to see because it uncovers what one may not expect to see in a film. Indeed, many motion pictures provide glimpses of a story, piece by piece, that a viewer can ably connect together to paint a complete picture. By contrast, Manchester by the Sea resists tidy answers and simple resolutions. It presents life as it is: complicated, heartbreaking, and full of words unsaid.

The Inspiring Message within Family Motion Pictures

Browsing through the selection on Netflix or Sky Movies, a young adult has much to choose from: crime, action, comedy, thrillers, and even erotic thrillers (think of the classics such as Basic Instinct rather than that mediocre film based on a best selling book).

It may come as a surprise, then, that the family or children's category could offer a slate of enjoyable and entertaining films to watch, and perhaps ponder upon, on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Be cautious, though, because this is not a quality shared by every great family movie, and for the purposes of this article, I will focus exclusively on three: Ratatouille, the Lego Movie and Zootopia.


These three films are distinct from other family pictures and films in other genres. Through the magic of animation, the voices of comedians (Patton Oswalt as Remy, Chris Pratt as Emmet and Jason Bateman as Nick) and adventurous plots, they portray both a meaningful message and plenty of giggles.

Judged solely in terms of providing entertainment, the films perform well. Without using either violence, foul language or nudity, these motion pictures keep adults and children on the verge of hysterics. Among countless pause-worthy moments, a few stand out: the sloth scene in Zootopia and Vitruvius' repeated failure in pronouncing 'Dumbledore' as 'Doubledoor' in the Lego Movie (if these examples don't ring a bell, search them on YouTube).

Beyond the laughs and unexpected joy, however, lies a thoughtful message.

That anyone can become anything he or she wishes to become, 

but not all at once and only with the help of companions

Indeed, Emmet's journey to becoming a master builder in the Lego Movie was supported by subtle encouragement from Wyldstyle, Alfredo's low self-esteem in Ratatouille was reversed through his unusual yet unbreakable bond with Remy, and Judy's friendship with Nick, a con artist, in Zootopia enabled her to navigate the streets to solve a missing-persons case. 

Woe to anyone who tries to draw up a direct action plan in real life based on fictitious animation films. The world is much too complicated and imperfect to allow anyone to closely mirror the journeys of our friendly cartoon characters.

A better takeaway involves considering the subtle messages within these family motion pictures as gentle whispers, serving to remind us that how others view our decisions and aspirations in no way, shape or form affects the realisation of those aspirations and dreams. It is within our power to choose and design our journeys in life and to rally with the kind of people who will accept our differences and support us unequivocally.  

So, can a rat really become a chef, or a bunny a police officer? Of course not. The point is to inspire the younger generations to be unbounded, foolish and genuine in expressing their hopes and emotions and to defy the expectations of challengers, whether they be the 'haters' or one's own parents. 

Who is to say that adults would not also benefit from doing so? 

Leonardo DiCaprio and the Academy Award

As is the case with many movie fanatics, Leo is one of my heroes. Since his remarkable performance in Titanic, DiCaprio has established a respectable and lasting reputation in Hollywood, starring in a diverse set of movies ranging from thrillers (Inception) to comedies (The Wolf of Wall Street).

Leo is also one of very few actors to have developed unique, trusting relationships with film directors, particularly with Martin Scorsese and most recently with Alejandro Iñárritu.

Perhaps it is a surprise, if not an outrage, that DiCaprio has yet to win an Academy Award, though 2016 might be his year for doing so. Having neatly swept both a Golden Globe and a BAFTA award in the new year, both for Best Actor, it seems reasonable to think that DiCaprio will win the Oscar too, on February 28th, for his performance in The Revenant.

An interesting question is whether winning the Oscar, or in fact not winning it this year (or ever), should affect his legacy. And should Leo be bothered about it?

Well, he isn't and he's absolutely right.

"I am really moved by all the people on the internet demanding that I win an Oscar. But, to be honest, I only do this job because I love it, not to win prizes." Leonardo DiCaprio 

Whether an actor wins an Academy Award is completely beyond his or her control. Winning the award signifies the fact that leading figures in Academy express their commendation for an actor's performance and hard work in a given year.

Winning an Oscar will no doubt be a delight for DiCaprio, but it is unlikely that it will be a defining moment for his career or that he will think about acting differently after winning.

Like most successful people, DiCaprio is in his line of business for the enjoyment and enriching experience. He loves acting and he's damn good at it. If he were to think incessantly about winning an award, no matter how prestigious, his performance may crumble and discredit his reputation.

He sets an example that all of us should follow:

To pursue our passion relentlessly, without any ambition for attention, prizes, or fame, 

and to be of service to society 

What is less commonly known is that DiCaprio is an ardent environmentalist. Last month, in January 2016, he was invited to appear at the World Economic Forum to receive an award commending the measures taken by his foundation to enhance environmental awareness across the globe. Through his foundation, DiCaprio is doing his bit to make the world a safer and better place, and doing so clearly makes his happy, otherwise he would not bother wasting his time and money on this cause. 

For the sake of our own health and well being, it is important that we learn from Leo and his outlook on life. He realises that obsessing about winning awards is a risky move. Not only can doing so lead to bitter disappointment, but the mental exertion results in a waste of valuable talent, talent that Leo better utilises towards producing world class movies and addressing environmental problems. 

Oscar or no Oscar, DiCaprio, like everyone else, will pass away at some point. And in his final moments, I bet that his thoughts will be on his family, his experiences working on set with actors, directors, and producers, and his philanthropic service to society. 

My money is on Leo winning the Academy Award. But in the instance that he does not, he will share a smile with himself, praise the winner, and continue enjoying his life as a game-changing actor. 

Social Media: It's Basically All Highlights

As we go through the exciting holidays, there is no shortage of photos, snapchats, and videos about the festive season. Friends and family are united wonderfully to celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, and for some, Kwanzaa. Bright lights, ice-skating, and delicious food appear endlessly on our newsfeed.

Alas, a close friend of mine was not in such high spirits. He said:

'My Facebook feed is filled with pictures of people going ice skating. I constantly watch stories on snapchat of friends walking through London in awe of its extraordinary decorations. I wish I could spend more time doing such lively activities.'

Of course, my friend had simply chosen to devote less of time to getting into the festive spirit. He later posted photos of the Christmas tree he had decorated with his family and updated his snapchat story when he went to Winter Wonderland. Problem solved. 

But underlying his frustration is an important realisation, worthy of our consideration:

That social media basically consists of highlights

The mistake that we (myself included) so often make when scrolling through our newsfeed is that we view its contents as accurately portraying the lives of our friends and family. This is simply false. 

Since the vast majority, if not all, of the content is filled with exciting and astonishing activities, such as visits abroad, parties, and notable feats, we are fooled into thinking that most people are enjoying a happy, first class experience, almost all the time. 

This often means that some of us, such as my friend, feel worse about their own experiences relative to those of others.

There is no reason to feel this way

The content on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and even LinkedIn mostly describes the highlights or pinnacle points in someone's life. This also explains the popularity of these platforms; they provide a medium through which we can communicate our high points. 

We are driven to share our successes and achievements. I certainly do so: for example, after devoting myself to a rigorous body training and diet regime over the summer, I shared pictures from my photoshoot. 

Moreover, we are justified in doing so, both for personal gratification and for wishing to share our travels, cuisines, and achievements with our peers.

However, as participants in the rollercoaster ride that so deeply exemplifies the social media experience, we must recognise that the pictures and videos we see are only part of the picture. These reveal only a glimpse into someone's life. 

Consider Emily Skye, a famous fitness model, who constantly uploads beautiful pictures of herself and also openly speaks about her struggles and encourages others to do the same:
https://www.facebook.com/emilyskyemodel/photos/a.635817043116523.1073741825.147170835314482/840282596003299/?type=1&theater

In reality, we all experience some degree of suffering, disappointment, and unhappiness from time to time. This is what makes our special moments that much more memorable and important to us. 

While we might feel less compelled to publicly share our darker days, it is in our interests to tackle such challenging times with energy, hope, and a smile, knowing that they are only temporary.

More importantly, whenever social media serves to further strengthen the apparent contrast between our current difficult stage and the upbeat experience of others, we must realise that matters are not as bad as they seem, for precisely the reasons mentioned. 

Remember, social media is basically all highlights; it does NOT provide the complete picture. 

How an Economics degree can be useful for Investment Banking

Economics and finance are not one and the same. So there is no way in which economics and investment banking are one and the same. While this point is mostly clear, many people choose to study economics because they are convinced that doing so will help them adequately prepare for a career in finance or banking.

Of course, there is merit in this argument, although not because of a commonly popularised reason, which is that an economics degree covers content that is useful for finance and banking, such as macroeconomics and financial economics.

The reason why an economics degree can be useful for investment banking is that the former helps students develop certain skills that prove invaluable for the junior banking role.

For example, economics is all about constrained optimisation. A certain individual has a budget and seeks to maximise her satisfaction or utility based on the constraints imposed by her budget.

Companies face the same problem. For instance, a retail company seeks to maximise its growth within a sluggish economy subject to the capital at its disposal - this capital may be used either for internal investment or for acquisitions.

Moreover, when raising debt in the capital markets, companies seek to raise as much capital subject to two main constraints:

First, the actual cost of that debt capital, which is mostly cheap at the moment. And second, their credit rating, which typically shares an inverse relationship with the amount of debt raised.

Judged by these terms, economics is important for better understanding how to make wise choices when faced with few resources. In fact, the best banking advisors are those who are able help companies to either acquire targets at the lowest cost, all else being equal, or raise capital at the lowest cost, again all else being equal.

So having the Lagrange method at the back of one's head when running a financial model on excel should help one think: 'Okay, I am able to get X return using Y resources, but can I achieve the same return with fewer resources?'

By thinking like an economist (or micro-economist, to be more precise), the junior banker not only helps generate solutions for the client, but also seeks to update, improve, and enhance those solutions wherever possible.

This point is incredibly important in business, since companies always try to squeeze every ounce of profit or return out of their assets. On the other hand, students, such as myself, are less concerned with such an idea, probably because we are not yet accountable to anyone other than ourselves.

In ending this post, I wish to clarify that studying for an economics degree is not the only way in which one can become successful in finance or banking. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Financial services companies strive to attract people from all stripes, and they should continue to do so.

However, for those of you, like myself, who study economics and aspire to pursue a banking career, it might prove helpful if we think about our degree less superficially and more in the manner outlined in this post.

Michelangelo's David, A Short Analysis

The picture before you is one of a Renaissance sculpture masterpiece, designed by the artist Michelangelo.

Located inside the Accademia in Florence, Italy, Michelangelo's David not only boasts an ideal figure of man, but also tells a powerful narrative.

The inspiration behind David stems from an Old Testament story, one which is familiar to most of us.

At at time when most men in his villages were afraid and frightened, David represents a young man who bravely chose to take on the terrible monster Goliath with no armour and nothing more than a rock and a slingshot.

The slingshot can be seen in David's left hand and the rock in his right hand.

However, David's right hand resembles something more. Looking closely, we can see that the right hand is slightly enlarged. The increase in size is perhaps a representation of the 'Hand of God', for David was able to defeat Goliath with the help of God.

Another interesting feature of David is of his bodily structure, which reveals two key points.

The first is that we can see David's head is tilted to his left, as he concentrates on his target, Goliath. But as David does so, he remains incredibly relaxed and calm; there is very little tension in his body.

The thoughtful and reassuring impression that David embodies is a sign of hope and faith for the Florentines. David serves as a reminder that Florentines, too, have the potential to gather strength and resilience to tackle their own Goliaths.

The second inference from David's body is of how well sculpted it is. Indeed, now in the 21st Century, we take our understanding of anatomy for granted.

In contrast to our understanding today, the understanding of anatomy in the Renaissance was at best rudimentary. In fact, Michelangelo had dissected several bodies to enhance his own knowledge of anatomy before sculpting David.

Thankfully for Michelangelo, his efforts paid off astonishingly well, for David remains a masterpiece of Humanism, the art of emphasising the value of human beings, and continues to attract attention to this day.

A final point worth consideration is how Michelangelo and David compare with other artists and artworks of their era.

The two other artists that, together with Michelangelo, form the triumvirate of the High Renaissance are Leonardo Da Vinci and Raphael, both of whom are credited with masterpieces like David. These include the 'Last Supper' and the 'Mona Lisa' for former and the 'School of Athens' for the latter.

Judged by these terms, David is just as beautiful and admirable as other masterpieces, or perhaps, even more so. The people of Florence would certainly agree.

How to Shine in Internship Interviews

As the application season kicks off, several of my peers have approached me asking for advice on how to do well in their upcoming interviews.

Because of this, I have chosen to write a blog post, in which I will do my best to share what has proved useful for me and what I have learned about the interview process.

Please take my advice with a pinch of salt, for I am still very young and my experience applying for jobs is somewhat limited, given that I am only an undergraduate. Balancing my advice with those of others is the best way to develop your own understanding of the process.

With that cleared, let us get started.

Be Yourself

The first step is to gather the courage to be yourself in the interview. For those for whom this comes unnaturally, a good solution is to frequently practice articulating yourself in front of friends and family until you are able to speak without even thinking!

I cannot stress enough the importance of being genuine in the interview. Firms are looking to hire people from as wide a variety of backgrounds as possible. There is truly no 'ideal' person for the job.

Let us suppose that you are not yourself in the interview, and even suppose that you secure an internship. When the internship begins, you cannot help but being yourself, and this will show clearly to your supervisor, who will recognise the discrepancy. This will only work against you.

Once one is prepared to act genuinely in the interview, the advice in this post should serve to be of immense value. Before reading on, please take a moment to appreciate the need to just be yourself in the interview.

What Interviewers Look For

Having established the absolute need to be genuine in the interview, one must make a conscious effort to understand what interviewers are actually looking for in a candidate.

Those who overlook this simple, yet highly important, point often fail to perform at their very best in their interviews.

To understand what interviewers are looking for, one should do research online, and complement this research with questions directed at HR or representatives of the firm to which one is apply, either in person or via email.

In my view, interviewers are looking for four things, three of which I will explore in greater depth.

1. Clear Motivation

2. Demonstrated Interest

3. Personality and Broader Interests

4. Ability to Do the Job Well

I will not examine the fourth part, simply because the ability to do the job well will only reveal itself over a long period of time, namely on the internship itself. There is no way that the interviewer can ascertain whether a candidate can deliver solid work results in 30 minutes or less.

My focus on the remaining three parts will be tailored to Investment Banking, since it is where my experience lies. The same principles can be applied to similar corporate professions.

1. Clear Motivation

To display clear motivation for Investment Banking, one must be able to clearly articulate what bankers actually do, at a fundamental level. This is quite tricky to figure out, but let me share my understanding of the topic.

Investment Banking Analysts perform due diligence on deals, value target companies and prepare pitch-books for meetings and presentations.

Managing Directors source new clients and develop relationships with existing ones. They are responsible for bringing in deal flow for the firm.

What links banking Analysts, MDs, and everyone in between, together, at a fundamental level, is that they are all advisors.

To be a great advisor, one must be able to understand the client and his or her needs. To do the latter, the advisor should be an outstanding listener.

To sum, in brief, clear motivation for banking is shown through:

A. An intrinsic desire to serve as an advisor - giving past examples of where you have understood the needs of your 'client' and given honest advice to the best of your ability will be useful.

B. An understanding of the characteristics of a great junior banker - you need not have all the skills of a junior banker, but it is important to know what they are and what you are getting yourself into!

For other professions, follow a similar procedure. For example, academics are researchers, PE professionals are investors (in companies), traders are, funnily enough, traders, and consultants are also advisors, though in a slightly different way from bankers.

2. Demonstrated Interest

Let us further segment demonstrated interest into its three parts, starting broad then narrowing down.

i.   The Industry
ii.  The Firm
iii. The Division

For the industry, the advice is obvious. Follow the news day in, day out and develop your own view.

Professionals in a client facing role get paid for having a differentiated view, one which usually helps clients make better decisions, whether that involves hedging FX risk or financing an acquisition.

Narrowing down a bit more leads us to demonstrated interest in the Firm.

Do NOT say that you wish to work at Firm X because of its unique culture. That answer is utter nonsense. One will only understand the culture of a workplace by actually working there.

It is better to elaborate on the people you have met from the firm, how well you get along with them, and other exposure you have had to the company.

Make sure that you explore the firm's website, read the profiles of its employees, comment on recent press releases and follow the firm on LinkedIn. There is no excuse to perform poorly on this account!

Finally, interest in the division. For Investment Banking, understand how the IBD is structured at your firm, because it varies from one to another.

At Goldman, for example, IBD is split into IBD Classic and the Financing Group. At Morgan Stanley, IBD is divided into M&A and Global Capital Markets. The two subdivisions perform EXACTLY the same functions, but knowing the specific names will impress the interviewer.

You may also wish to express an interest in a certain industry or product team. If so, be sure to have evidence to back up your interests.

3. Personality and Broader Interests

For professions that are team orientated and client facing, this aspect is where some exceptionally talented candidates fail to make their mark.

Whether you get the internship offer depends, above all else, on how far your interviewers are convinced that you will add value to your future team, and consequently, the firm for which you will work. To add value to the team, one must first be able to get along well with the team members.

To convince your interviewers that you are capable of doing so, it is important to be comfortable talking about yourself personally, as well as professionally.

The ability to confidently articulate your personal interests, what motivates you, and what is important to you in life, shows two things:

A. That you are able to devote yourself to something about which you are passionate, and excel at it. This is know as grit.

B. That you are someone other people enjoy spending time with, and therefore, someone a senior person is willing to mentor.

Let me reiterate that, when a firm hands out an internship offer, it is effectively making an investment. The firm will be using its time, people, and money to invest in YOU.

Your job in the interview is to portray yourself as a worthy investment. How you do that is not a question for me to answer, but rather one to which you should devote a lot of time. I certainly did.

Concluding Thoughts

Those who succeed in securing internships are those who are able to give strong responses on all the three areas covered, in each and every interview they attend.

I wish to end this post by sharing one final tip.

Think of the interview process as a privilege.

Few are privileged to receive an interview invitation, and even fewer are fortunate enough to receive an internship offer.

Seeing that one is likely to devote a tremendous amount of time and effort in securing an interview, it would be a great shame if one chooses not to approach the interview, a huge privilege, with great enthusiasm, confidence, and energy.

Seeing your interview as a privilege should help motivate you to prepare yourself as well as possible. Once you feel that you are prepared to the best of ability, the execution part is less of an issue.

Good luck!

A Little Something About Relationships & Love

I do not claim to be an expert in relationships; I most certainly am not. As a young man in my twenties, I am only beginning to explore and learn about the numerous intricacies of a healthy, loving relationship.

Nonetheless, the topic interests me a great deal, not least because I am in a relationship myself. One of the questions that truly stirs me up is: how do you know when someone is right for you?

I choose my words very careful. I chose to use the word 'right' instead of 'perfect', since neither any person nor any relationship can ever be perfect.

Back to the point. Someone might be right for you because she has similar interests, passions and ambitions. Others might be right for you if they are willing to sacrifice part, if not most, of their interests, to support and assist you in the difficult task of life.

However, I would encourage every one in a relationship to open their eyes and consider the prospect of loving a person for who they are.

That is, loving a person in her entirety, both her positive and negative aspects

We will never find our 'other half', if we look exclusively for positive features. So the best we can do is to accept these delicacies in others, about which we worry, and ask whether they are more important than the overall magic of the relationship.

Often times the negative aspects are overruled by actions that are far, far more important.

Examples include the act of actively supporting and loving, the act of making your partner feel like a billion dollars when he feels like a discarded penny, and the act of surrendering yourself to the mutual interest of a relationship.

Moreover, the imperfections in a parter can be seen as the "good stuff"

(To quote Robin Williams)

I consider myself to be intelligent, well spoken, and nice and personable. But my sneezes are loud and horrendous, I tend to fart on occasion, and I stretch my long arms in public without much regard for obstacles, often other people, in the nearby surroundings.

Funnily enough, the imperfections about me are what I love the most. And the imperfections I see in my girlfriend are also what I love the most about her!

So perhaps we should appreciate imperfections in ourselves and in others, stop focusing on the perfections that are mostly irritating, and feel free to get caught up in our romanticism and pursue a relationship just because it is interesting and human to do so. 

Get loving, bitches.

Creating the Conditions for Excellence

Successful outcomes depend crucially on underlying conditions. A secure building relies on firm foundations grounded in such a way to provide safety during turbulent weather. Effective writing depends on a thorough understanding of language and grammar. Winning teams in sport rely on the conditions of solid preparation and planning.

Similarly, achieving excellence in a given field, consistently, day by day, depends on a set of important underlying conditions.

These conditions may include the following: adopting a positive attitude; working very hard; overcoming obstacles and setbacks; and leveraging one's abilities with those of others.

In this post, however, my focus is on a condition that may surprise those of us who have been high achievers for most of our lives: the courage to be bad.

Let me repeat that again. The courage to be bad. On first sight, this conditions seems inconsistent with achieving excellence. Being bad and achieving excellence are polar opposites, are they not?

Yes and no, is the answer to that question. The paradox can be solved by thinking in the following way:

If I am trying to be good at everything, I will be excellent at nothing. 

In other words, if I am truly to be excellent at one thing, I must gather the courage to be very bad at another thing, or as is more likely, MANY other things.

A second condition that complements the courage to be bad is that of collaboration. This condition is similar to the first, in that it recognises one's own innate limitations and seeks to overcome them through active cooperation and teamwork with others

Collaboration is the act of, first, recognising your own weaknesses, and second, valuing the strengths of others, which, when combined with those of your own, produces a superior outcome than that which results from the sum of the independent parts.

A human trait that enables collaboration to thrive more effectively is humility, which I define below:

Humility is not holding oneself in low esteem, but holding others in high esteem.

In exercising humility, and thereby holding others in high esteem, we provide others with 'breathing space' or 'psychological air', a space that would typically be filled with hostility and hatred in the absence of humility. 

In summarising this post, it is worth considering that the courage to be bad complements the act of being humble, which, as aforementioned, supports collaboration. 

The courage to be bad shows that you appreciate the expertise of people in fields other than your own, and therefore, holds those people in high esteem. 

In essence, then, the courage to be bad can be viewed as the starting condition for achieving excellence. Perhaps the price we must pay for being successful and achieving excellence is to suck at other things. I would describe that as a fair bargain. 

Distinguishing between the Urgent and the Important

We live in a world of urgency. Tight deadlines must be met, schedules must be followed closley, and time should 'optimised' as much as possible so that our performance is efficient.

Facing urgent situations is, then, a defining feature of life for most of us. And because these situations are a matter of urgency, we sometimes mistakely confuse such cases as also being important. Yet there is a critical difference between activities that are urgent and those that are important. I will begin this post by explaining this difference, and then discuss its significance.

Answering the phone is a urgent activity. If one does not pick up the phone in time, it cannot be answered at that given moment, and so we must 'rush' to answer. But is answering the phone an important activity? It depends. If the caller is seeking help for an emergency, then yes, but that, and similar cases, are rarely so.

Exercising and maintaining a healthy diet are important activities, though not urgent ones. If I do not go to the gym once a week, nothing terrible will happen to me. Moreover, there is nothing placing immediate pressure on me, such as a time constraint, to visit the gym; the gym will always remain open. However, if I choose to invest in my health and exercise reguarly, I will reap rewards (gainz).

So a key difference can be seen here. Urgent activites place pressure on us to act. The ringing phone is a signal that we must pick it up at once. Important activites, however, do not always pressure us to act upon them, though we ought to do so.

What is the significance of all this?

The significance is that we should pay closer attention to ascertaining whether the activities we do on a regular basis are urgent, important, or both. Focusing mostly on important activities should, in most cases, make us happier, more at ease, and more successful. This is my view.

For instance, preparing for an exam or an interview well in advance is an important activity, which also becomes more urgent as time goes on and the event approaches. But prior preparation and planning, though not urgent, is important for maximising the probability of success.

Another example is investing in relationships. Spending time with our parents and siblings is not urgent, while other activities, such as submitting a snapchat story, or responding to a text, or watching the new episode of MIC, are arguably more urgent.


As a young adult, I am aware that there is much time in my life to do many things, but it would be foolish of me to think this time should be wasted incessantly on urgent, albeit unimportant, activities.

Life is short and sweet, and each moment is memorable precisely because it is not endless.

I strongly urge you, as the reader, not to give up all of your urgent activities, but rather to give more careful consideration to those activities that, while not urgent, are important and could perhaps add more meaning and happiness to your life.

Happiness, it lies in the present

Happiness is an emotional state that we all desire. Yet very few of us find ourselves in a state of genuine happiness, and even fewer are happy for extended periods of time.

Throughout life, most of us come across the notion of pursuing happiness, implying that it's not permanent. This means that, when one is happy, one is embracing the inevitable prospect of becoming sad, which diminishes the pleasure of being happy at that very moment.

The pursuit of happiness is futile in other respects, too. Consumerism and advertising would have us believe that happiness arises from acquiring new items. The desire to acquire might give us a heightened sense of pleasure, as one experience while under the influence of ecstasy, but this path is nothing more than a happiness treadmill, leading to the undesirable destination of never being completely satisfied with what we have.

Others contend that, once we become successful, we become happy, and that the pursuit of happiness essentially translates into the pursuit of success. Those who pursue this line of reasoning completely overlook the fact that being happy is a conducive condition for achieving success, as we are more determined, productive, and approachable in a happy state than a sad or miserable one. The relationship, it appears, runs the other way.

Psychologists have long researched the causes of happiness. Their findings point to acts of kindness. Sharing food and clothes, giving out hugs, and listening to the concerns of our friends are acts that generate the warm, fuzzy feeling of happiness inside us.

In performing such kind acts, we do not have in mind 'the pursuit of happiness', but rather an eagerness to support and care for those people whom we love. We do not worry about being happy, because we know that happiness will naturally follow suit.

So far, it seems that, in pursuing happiness, it becomes more of destination, than a condition. A destination towards which we approach, but never actually arrive. Even so, the journey is that much better in the company of those we love, and with generosity, kindness, and enthusiasm.

Think about the following:

If we think not about pursuing anything, yet alone happiness, and merely consider this given moment, in which there is no harm, no danger, and no serious concern, and where we can live and breathe and be free in all of our strength, then this is the moment when we are happy.

Put aside your worries about the future. Happiness lies in living and being free in the present.

Emotional Intelligence, the defining characteristic of great leaders

Consider any great leader: Winston Churchill; Martin Luther King; John F Kennedy; Ronald Reagan; Mahatma Gandhi; and Benazir Bhutto. All of the mentioned leaders were incredibly intelligent, but it was not their intelligence that defined them as great leaders; it was their emotional intelligence.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman coined the phrase 'emotional intelligence', writing a book with the same title. He argues that truly successful leaders almost always display emotional intelligence, manifested in self-awareness, self-control, motivation, drive, empathy, and social skill.

These soft skills have more recently been emphasised as key characteristics of those who run the world's most successful and powerful organisations. Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman Sachs highlights the need to become 'a complete person', capable of interacting with a wide range of people, while his rival, Jamie Dimon of JP Morgan, stresses the necessity of keeping one's emotions in control during tough and turbulent times.

That is not to deny the value of intelligence for sound leadership. Instead, it is my aim to argue, in this post, that intelligence is a necessary albeit insufficient condition for developing oneself into a successful leader. We all know of one person who is incredibly bright and smart, but who did not succeed to a great extent as a leader.

Why not?

To provide a satisfactory answer, let us consider, in some detail, three key components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, motivation, and empathy.

Developing self-awareness is to explore and understand one's values, desires, and areas for improvement. People with self-awareness know what makes them 'tick' and where they are going in life and how they will get there.

For instance, a self-aware person, who suffers from the pressure surrounding tight deadlines, will plan ahead and complete the required work well in advance. Self-aware people also admit to their mistakes, and as a result, are more likely to learn from their mistakes and perform better in the future.

Self-aware candidates demonstrate a thirst for constructive criticism, because they realise the potential to growth through listening to others. 

Second, if there is one trait that all great leaders possess, it is motivation. We are all motivated by external factors in the world, be it money, status, or power. Truly great leaders, however, are motivated by a deeply embedded desire to achieve for sake of achieving and becoming great.

These people love what they do and display unconditional enthusiasm and energy almost all of the time. These are the people who do not accept the status quo as given; they are the game changers in business, law, medicine, and other professional realms.

Highly motivated leaders remain optimistic even when the odds are against them. 

Finally, empathy is a crucial skill that great leaders have developed over time. Empathy does not equate with pity. Rather, it refers to the ability of a leader to recognise and understand the feelings of her team and base intelligent decisions on how her team is performing.

Given the need to attract and retain talented employees and team members, it is needless to say that leaders must be able to communicate and engage with their team in a meaningful and connected manner, such that the whole team feels a part of something special and capable of doing good for the team and the wider community.


To summarise, great leaders with emotional intelligence are:

1. able to understand their internal drivers and values

2. motivated to purse what they love unconditionally and relentlessly

3. capable of connecting with a wide range of people

4. able to empathise and listen to people and make intelligent decisions on that basis

and most importantly...

5. are not scared by what they are capable of achieving


Be a great leader by developing your own emotional intelligence.

Love at first sight?

Think back to a time when you were starstruck, literally, after seeing a man or woman whom you believed to be, without a doubt, your true love. Whether you both shared a certain twinkle in your eyes, or let off a small smirk after glancing at each for a few seconds, there is most certainly something special at play in these moments.

The most intense forms of love tend to occur in the early stages of a relationship, suggesting that our attraction to someone at the first instance of seeing them is usually an occurrence that remains in our minds and hearts.

Further evidence that love at first sight exists arises from the fact that human beings have the ability to judge, within a few seconds, whether they believe another person is attractive in their eyes. The first step in almost every relationship is based on attraction based on physical appearance.

A similar line of reasoning maintains that first impressions have a powerful influence on us. Here the two possibilities are at either extremes. In the first, positive instance, we are completely blown away by a guy or gal that we want to wrap our arms around them until the end of eternity, though we never actually deliver on this. 

On the other extreme, we are somewhat disgusted by another's pride, arrogance, or lack of empathy, that we choose to repel ourselves away from him or her, even though our judgement here is in fact very superficial and immature. 

My purpose in this post, however, is to present a case that undermines the view that love at first sight exists. Here's why.

First, there is no compelling reason for accepting that love has to be a noun. Love is also verb. To love someone is to be there for her unconditionally, in bad times and good, an action. To love someone is to make sacrifices for her, another action. See the pattern?

Second, to develop a feeling for someone that is as powerful and intense as the feeling of love requires us to grasp a deeper understanding of another's soft side. Traits such as intellect, compassion, kindness, and a good sense of humour cannot be revealed at first insight. On this basis, it is difficult to develop love, in a truly meaningful way, at first sight. 

Let me be clear and admit that there is definitely a case to be made for feeling substantial arousals when first seeing someone whom we believe to be somewhat extraordinary and special to us. I personally have experienced this many times in life.

Yet to claim that we 'are in love' after an initial encounter is perhaps stretching too far, given that love is something we develop over a long period of time. 

REMEMBER

Love is not only a noun, but also a verb.

Do what makes you come alive

'It felt like breathing; it felt right.'

She came alive, at the age of 20, when she held her first talk show event. She is Oprah Winfrey and she is a woman regarded by many around the world as a source of inspiration, love, and meaning.

Coming alive is to pursue a passion relentlessly and without care about what others might think. Coming alive is to live every day with enthusiasm and drive, always striving to fulfil your greatest potential.

This is mentally draining, which is why Oprah strongly emphasises that we each find what makes us tick and wake up in the morning, so that we can persevere when things get tough, because we love what we do.

Let's now consider how doing the thing that 'makes us come alive' fits in with success. For the purposes of clarity, we will look at Oprah as an example.

Serving as the lead on one of the most popular talk shows in world clearly has its financial benefits. We should never neglect the importance of money and attaining a position of financial stability.

Money helps us cater for our needs and for those whom we are responsible, such as our family and friends. Money also enables us to seize opportunities, to which we would not be exposed if we did not have a sufficient amount of money.

Money does not, however, add meaning to one's life. Meaning comes from listening to your feelings and making decisions based on your gut, says Oprah. Your gut is your GPS for life, guiding you through obstacles, challenges, and uncertainty.

Here's the difficult part. Only YOU can understand your gut feeling. So, making a decision based on your gut could seem entirely absurd from the perspective of other people, but to you it IS natural. IT IS RIGHT. There is a good case, then, for developing the resilience, over time, to care less about the views others hold about your decisions and instead devote more attention to understanding how we feel as unique individuals.

What about failure? What if doing the thing that makes me come alive is challenging and hard? As you already know, nobody said that anything worthwhile is easy. Let me, however, share some advice that I received quite recently.

Michael Nartey, co-head of Global Distribution at Barclays (formerly managing director at Goldman Sachs), is a man who rose to the top of one of the world's greatest financial institutions having been born and lived in Ghana for a large part of his life.

He said the following:

'If you are able to go home, reflect on the possible lessons that you should learn from your mistake or failure today, and come into work the next day with a fresh mindset that involves not thinking about the day before, then you will become successful.'

Michael's point could alternatively be explained in the following way: learn from your mistakes, but live in the present.

I cannot over emphasise the importance of living in the present. Opportunities, in the form of occasions to seize career-related opportunities, to develop and enhance your relationships, or to simply laugh and hug the people you love, occur in the present.

We cannot seize these wonderful opportunities that add meaning and happiness in our lives if we are too consumed with the past or too worried about what the future may bring.

Both are outside our control: we cannot change the past and we have virtually no influence over the future. Developing the humility and resilience to concede to this fact is the first step in letting go of a burden that keeps us back and arriving at a more peaceful state of mind.

Find what you love, what makes you come alive, and devote yourself to that day in, day out, with integrity, passion, and endless drive.

Do what makes you come alive and show it to the rest of the world

The conundrum women face

What does a twenty year old man have to say about women, their work, and their lifestyles? Probably not a lot, and I suggest that you take my points in this post with a pinch of salt. That said, I believe that the issues I raise here are incredibly important and worth your time and consideration.

It could be argued that women lead a life that is somewhat more difficult than that of men. Women face the challenging task of balancing parenting and a working life, whereas most men often focus exclusively on the latter, usually proving to be more successful than women. This is reflected by, for example, the disproportionate number of male CEOs and politicians.

Nonetheless, many female activists, entrepreneurs, and businesswomen have shown that it is possible to lead a life in which a woman has a successful career and is also raising her children in a healthy and happy manner. In this post, I want to direct my attention to the arguments put forth by Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook.

In her book, Lean In, which is an interesting and fascinating read, Sandberg makes the point that women often hold themselves back from business opportunities and devote too much of their time and effort on parenting or preparing for parenting.

Yet the topic of determination and drive is not so clear cut. Personal motivations are inherently complex to understand and decipher. Even Adam Smith, a social psychologist and moral philosopher, explained that human beings are subject to elements of both altruism and self-interest, and the proportions of each are not always defined by one's gender.

Moreover, our aspirations and determination are influenced by the type of education we receive, our peer group, our personal environment and experiences, and the connections and relationships we form with people. Thus, it is perhaps not entirely plausible to claim that it is only women who hold themselves back.

There is, however, a serious obstacle that women face: when a woman is successful, she will probably be disliked by both men and other women. Meanwhile, successful men are commonly liked by other men and women.

A case study, titled Howard/Heidi, was performed, which illustrated that two individuals, each of equal standing in terms of success, received a different reception depending on his or her name, a proxy for attitudes towards gender.

While responders rated Howard and Heidi equally in terms of success, they considered Howard to be a likeable person, whereas they considered Heidi to be selfish and not "the type of person you would hire or work for".

Women consequently face a conundrum. We all want to be liked, but we also want to be successful. So the situation boils down to a choice. Should you sacrifice being disliked by a number of people in exchange for becoming successful? I think you should, let me explain why.

Let's say that, as a woman, some people dislike you. Ask yourself this question: is there realistically anything that I can do to make people like me? Probably not. Furthermore, even if you manage to  please other people, you will probably not please yourself, which is ultimately more important.

To conclude, I want to emphasise that there is not yet a clear answer to this conundrum that women face. The debate Sheryl Sandberg is attempting to stimulate is crucial to deliver more female leaders. Moreover, I agree with her: we should be having this conversation more frequently.

I understand that the topics here are very sensitive, and it may seen unnatural to talk about them, but these issues are also very important, for both men and women.

Let's keep the debate going.

Success is an iceberg

As I was casually browsing through my LinkedIn news feed, I came across a spectacular image that immediately caught my attention. That image was of an iceberg.

Now, on a normal occasion, I find icebergs neither very appealing nor interesting, but this was not such an occasion. In this instance, the iceberg served as a manifestation of something very important:

That there always an underlying feature, idea, or story behind every single instance of success

Before we proceed to discuss this issue in more depth, let us actually look at the iceberg:

The most noticeable characteristic of this iceberg is that the amount of ice below the water is far greater than the amount of ice above the water. This also happens to be a true fact about icebergs, in case you were wondering. 

However, the interesting discussion here refers to the ratio between how much work one performs relative to the degree of success one achieves. The former is far greater than the latter.

So what does this all mean for us?

Quite simply, it means that the shortest way to success is to take the long way. It means that achieving our goals will take a great deal of time, hard work, failure, and perseverance. 

It means that there will be moments in your journey towards success when matters will become more challenging and difficult. 

Notice also that the width of the ice below the water increases as you approach the surface. This could refer to the fact that, as you get closer and closer to achieving your goal, more and more effort is needed to push through those final few steps when you are getting tired and fatigued. 

That a part of the natural world, such as an iceberg, is so in touch with our struggles and aspirations is fascinating and telling. The value of this image, in my view, lies exactly in its relation with the natural world.

This seems somewhat confusing so let me simplify my point: facing challenges and struggling your way towards success is a perfectly natural experience. In other words, it will definitely happen.

You will fail. You will be placed outside of your comfort zone. You will take risks.

But when you reach the surface, and breath the crispy antarctic air, it will all be worth it.

Visualise your path to success as an iceberg!

Defending Wall Street

Since the Financial Recession of 2008, Wall Street has been labelled as ruthless, reckless, and imprudent. There is certainly some merit in this view. The construction of asset-backed securities, and their misguided distribution throughout the economy, triggered a severe credit crunch, from which we are still recovering today.

Yet such shocks to the system are exceptions, rather than the rule, of the general framework. In fact, I aim to argue that Wall Street (I use the term to universally represent all financial sectors worldwide) is a significantly important part of a successful and healthy global economy. 

Why is Wall Street, and more importantly finance in general, so crucial? The answer rests in the relationship outlined below. Let's say a business identifies a profit opportunity, but does not possess the relevant resources to execute the initiative. How should the business proceed? Naturally, it would seek the help of an investment bank to finance its investment and create value in the process.

Innovative Idea + Finance = Tangible Progress

Any initiative that creates value and improves the standard of living requires resources to do so. It is the role of financial institutions to raise the necessary funding, usually through equity or debt, that enables a business to convert its idea into something tangible. 

In other words, finance facilitates entrepreneurship, which, in turn, serves as the engine of most developed countries. Thus, the beauty and value of Wall Street does not lies in its existence, per se, but rather in its capacity to search for and identify the relevant businesses that require assistance to make their investments happen. 

Note that the argument I have presented here is not at all complicated, even though it is most definitely overlooked. This fundamental role of finance is brushed aside, largely because the reception of finance in the press focuses on currency manipulation, the rigging of interest rates, and other malicious acts.

These harmful activities do occur on Wall Street. Unfortunately, eliminating them entirely is likely to prove both impossible and unfeasible, though reforms, such as Dodd-Frank, and regulators, such as the FSA, have certainly curbed this type of behaviour in recent years.

There is, moreover, an element of non-profit finance on Wall Street. This is the equivalent of the 'pro bono' work that law firms perform to demonstrate their consideration for the society at large. Non-profit finance focuses on initiatives that enhance progress in communities and schools. 

However, non-profit finance is not the main backbone of Wall Street. To fully appreciate the importance of Wall Street, let us perform a thought experiment.

Imagine that Wall Street did not exist, what would the world look like? (It is often easier to appreciate the importance of something by considering the impact of its absence). 

A short answer is this: we would likely return to the primitive age. Any businessperson hoping to change the world could not do so. The visions of Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Eric Schmidt could not be fulfilled (yes, even these entrepreneurs need finance to give them a boost).

Yes, I accept that Wall Street includes reckless behaviour, but so does Silicon Valley and almost every other industry. Behaving irrationally and at the expense of society if it serves our own interests is a perfectly human feature. 

Let us move beyond these fallacies of Wall Street and finance, focusing instead on their wider impact, which improves lives and creates jobs. 

Emotional Intelligence, it works!

Do you ever wonder why Harvey Specter, the protagonist in the TV series Suits, is so successful in his role as a corporate lawyer? Is it because he has a JD from Harvard Law? Unlikely, since many people have a law degree from Harvard, but not all are as successful as him. Is it because of his handsome appearance and good charm? Perhaps.

While Harvey Specter is a fictitious character, and he is unlikely to closely resemble anyone in the real world, my conjecture is that Harvey's success can ultimately be attributed to his emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is a topic within psychology, and it is becoming more popular recently. It basically refers to the ability to handle one's emotions with care and thought, exercise self-confidence, and persevere in the face of adversity. Since Harvey is able to perform each of these (difficult) tasks very well, we have a possible explanation for his success.

Let us move beyond Harvey now, and consider how thinking about and developing our emotional intelligence could help us become more successful and happy.

To a very large extent, intelligence and hard work are necessary factors in education, the workplace, and in our personal lives. At the same time, however, life is full of tragedies, failures, and other unfortunate events.

Intelligence, per se, does not present a useful way to overcome these challenges: there is virtually no common ground between solving a differential equation and moving on from a relationship break-up. Thus, being able to do the former does not necessarily mean that you can do the latter.

In the realm of the legal world, in which Harvey operates, there are a lot of bright minds, and certainly a lot of hard workers. The distinguishing feature, then, is in fact whether one possesses a degree of emotional intelligence.

The job of a lawyer entails gruelling hours, working with hostile people, and sacrificing some part of your personal life. Being able to exercise self-restraint is, therefore, pivotal in performing the job effectively, not least because the failure to do so can result in a 'breakdown', which significantly hinders one's well being.

The point I am making here is that if you do not happen to be as smart as the person next to you, that does not mean your chances of achieving success are lower. Sure, most entrepreneurs and scientists, who have literally changed the world, were smart and intelligent. But then again, so were many of the ones who did not make it.

Again, the distinguishing feature is emotional intelligence, the ability to remain in control of yourself and refuse to give up when any sign of progress seems nonexistent.

To wrap things up, let me finish with the following:

Emotional intelligence is NOT determined. It is a skill. 

As with any other skill, your emotional intelligence can grow stronger with practice.

Start today. Before losing control and breaking out when things do not go as planned, take a moment to think. Think about your feelings, your state of mind, and how you should proceed from this difficult situation. 

Think about how Harvey handles himself in a high pressure environment and how you could do the same too. 

Think more about your emotional intelligence, and less about 'intelligence' alone. Your emotions are intricate and very powerful. Treat them with care and you will see yourself become a more fulfilled person. 

Dealing with competition

Studying and working in a highly competitive environment can be stimulating on the one hand, and to a large extent, harmful on the other. At secondary school, almost every boy in my year behaved competitively, often adopting the damaging attitude that one's gain only occurs at another's loss.

University life is no different. A friend of mine studying at a top university explained how, when he agreed to exchange essays with his peer, he never actually received the other essay despite offering his own. Having only just started university myself, I am beginning to feel the same thing, which motivated me to write this post. 

Such examples are prevalent at university and similar ones will most certainly appear in the workplace too. I believe I am not alone in saying that this form of 'competition' is a great tragedy and potentially dangerous for our health and well-being. Let me explain why. 

The view that actions speak louder than words is almost universal. If I were to pursue the path of 'cut throat' competition, a signal would be sent to every other person in my environment, and he or she will probably refuse to collaborate with me in the future, and for good reasons too. (Simple game theory, but it's true)

Thus, even if you might feel that working on your own might benefit you in some cases, there will almost certainly be a time when you need the help of others. That help is conditional on offering your assistance when others ask for it, or at the very least, refraining from behaving ruthlessly without much care about the performance of your peers. 

I understand that too much collaboration might serve against your interests. Of course, the number of internship placements and jobs is fixed. Offering extensive advice and support to others, then, could well accelerate their appeal to employers, thereby creating more competition for you.

But what if you also benefit from the process? What if the exchange is mutually beneficial? What if in helping others, more and more people come to help you? What if you become a beacon of inspiration?

Now, admittedly, I have no serious work experience, because I am a student. However, one thing that I do know, from speaking with business leaders and CEOs, is that fulfilling favours in the workplace go a long way. 

Recently, I had the privilege to meet and talk with Vernon Hill, the Chairman and Founder of Metro Bank, also a billionaire. He explained how a key part of his success was that he provided regular favours to his business partners and investors, not often expecting something in return, but usually getting some help, perhaps in the form of capital, that significantly aided the growth of his company.

A more simple case could occur in a nightclub. For example, most people are reluctant to buy you a drink if you ask them. Yet if you buy a drink for a (new) friend, he or she is likely to return the favour later in the night.

The point is that most of us are scared to take the first step. Scared of being exploited or used. I, for one, have been exploited many times. Yet, on many more occasions, I have benefited from reaching out to, and working with, other people, who also happen to be my 'competition'. 

So you have a choice. You can either live in a very stressful environment where you are constantly assessing your competition and finding a way to be the best, though probably being unsuccessful, and more importantly, unhappy. Or you could seek to form symbiotic relationships that delivers a Win/Win outcome. I hope I have convinced you to opt for the latter option. 

What is your standard for success?

Take a minute to visualise a successful person in your mind. What would he or she look like? One successful person might have a sports car, a mansion, and a wonderful set of friends. Another successful person could be a volunteer in a developing country. Yet another successful person might be an ordinary boy or girl going to university.

Success is measurable. However, the standards against which we measure success are different for each and every person, meaning that different interpretations of success exist.

For some people, success is defined by how much income one earns and the total value of one's assets, the so called 'net worth'. This approach has become overgeneralised to the extent that most of us associate a wealthy person as highly successful (and usually powerful).

There is some merit in this view. For example, in order to assemble and maintain such vast wealth and money, one must work very hard, not just for one or two years, but for decades on end. On the other hand, there are cases in which such wealth is either inherited or acquired unethically and without much committment, in which case our view of success might change.

Mike Bloomberg, in an interview, pointed out that, while his net worth is in the billions, that is not the standard against which he judges his success.

Mike said the following:

"As mayor of New York City, I judged the success of the team that I led by the number of lives we saved, the number of business opportunities we created, and the number of young people we managed to send to college."

Savings lives, creating business opportunities, and sending young people to university are not the 'conventional' measures of success, perhaps because these indicators go beyond the individual.

This, then, leads onto the purpose of this post, which is highlight that defining success is a very opaque task, where there is room for much debate and controversy, principally because our views on the matter differ.

The important thing to remember is that YOU define your own success by choosing the standard against which to judge it. Your standard is likely to change over the course of your lifetime and such change should be embraced.

Remain open-minded and choose your standard carefully, for the standard you select often reveals a lot about you.